Saturday, October 10, 2009

Man vs. Debt! The battle of the Century!

My money is on debt, even though man is a huge favorite. I've got a good feeling about debt!

Regular reader Howard recently pointed me to a Simple Dollaresque (shut up, it's a word) frugal douche, who writes at Man vs. Debt. It's chock full of the usual frugal bullshit, until I found this diamond in the rough.

Yep, it's about peeing in the shower.

Peeing. In. The. Fucking. Shower.

Let's do this shit!

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This might be the worst thing he could have possibly started with. He could have said "I love ripping off otters' heads and fucking their necks", and I would probably hate him less than I do now. Nice start.

There’s a viral television ad campaign going on in Brazil right now. It’s the brainchild of SOS Mata Atlantica, a non-profit organization with the mission of preserving Brazil’s amazing rainforests.

Forgive me for sounding like a heartless prick, but I don't give two shits about Brazil's fucking rainforests. The only people who do are granola eating hippies who do stupid bullshit like chaining themselves to trees. Don't they realize we're all laughing at them?

Here’s the gist: Pee in the Shower… Save the Atlantic Rainforest.

As an aside, I once had a conversation with an ex-girlfriend, her sister and her Mom about peeing in the shower. And it turns out that I was the only one who hadn't done it. I was a shower virgin, so to speak. Nobody else seemed to have a problem with it. But, that family was fucking weird, so take that story with a grain of salt.

Anyway, peeing in the shower is fucking gross. You're peeing where you're standing. You're standing in your own pee. I don't care if the water is washing it down the drain. Some of it is still fucking there. I don't know about you, but I try to avoid pissing on myself. That's what separates us from the animals.

No really, they even broke down the numbers (1,157 gallons/year for each household)

When you stop to think about the numbers, they're really bullshit. The average toilet takes 1.6 gallons of water to flush. The average showerhead pumps out about 2.5 gallons a minute. That means that the same amount of water (1.6 gallons) is used in about 38.4 seconds (.64/60).

Time yourself next time you take your morning leak. I bet it takes about 38 seconds, including shaking. And if you commit to taking your morning piss in the shower, I bet the shower is going to be more than 38 seconds longer than usual, since you're going to be adding to your routine. Plus, if you're anything like me, you're probably going to make extra sure all the pee is washed down the drain before you get back to washing.

It’s so good, I actually just got done peeing in the shower for fun

And while we're at it, why don't we take a shit in the sink and puke in each other mouths?

The whole point of the post is supposed to be about resourcefulness. And I guess I can sort of see the point. Saying that, using pissing in the shower is a pretty fucking stupid example, especially when there are literally thousands of actual cool ideas out there.

Also, somebody remind Dog to buy some fucking toilet paper. Pretty soon, she's going to have to start wiping with all that extra cash they have kicking around.

2 comments:

Howard said...

Nice!

I'm sure you'll get lots of future material out of "Man".

This morning "Mommy Millionaire Next Door" had me rolling on the floor almost as good as Rich Dad. I'm certain she'll censor me too.

FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com said...

I'm glad I don't subscribe to those blogs.

Can't keep up with them.