Quiet Everyone! Frugal Dad is Dishing Out Advice!

I said shut the hell up! Come on people! Some blogger named Frugal Dad is dishing out gold. And by gold, I mean steaming turds. Let's take a look see.

Don't Be A Self Righteous Frugalist

Is frugalist even a word? Didn't I invent a new term to describe you frugal people? Why yes, I did. Let's go with it, okay frugaldouche?

(Just for shits and giggles, I just did a spellcheck and, according to blogger, frugalist is no more of a word than fartmuffin. This is important, if only for my own amusement)

Have you ever known someone who preached frugality at every turn?

Uh, yeah. How much time you got? There's this fuckhead. And this guy. And this doucher. You want more? No? Okay, good. I was getting a little tired of this exercise anyway.

Maybe I'll give you one more. How about the guy who's blog is called fucking Frugal Dad? I would guess he's either pretty frugal or terrible with naming shit.

They were always eager to tell you how much money they saved, or how much you could have saved, or how frivolous your purchase was? I’ve caught myself being “that guy” sometimes, and it is not a character trait I want to develop.

Sometimes? You write a blog called Frugal Dad. I'd say it's a fuck of a lot more than sometimes.

In many areas of our lives leading by example is the best way to encourage others to follow. Being frugal is no different. One of the quickest ways to turn people off of frugality is to tell them how they should live their lives, and how they should spend their money.

Your name is Frugal Dad! You run a blog dedicated to being frugal! You're the doucher that you're warning people about!

Guess what? When you tell people about being frugal, you automatically become percieved as some sort of frugal asshole. Just like I'm percieved as that angry guy who has a chip on his shoulder, just because I like to make fun of crap using cuss words. It comes with the fucking territory pal.

This is especially true with spouses and children. Here lately I’ve noticed that I have become overly critical of my wife’s purchases, and get too easily upset if my kids want something I think is frivolous.

Maybe I shouldn't be dishing out advice here, mostly because I'm so single that I have hairy palms. I do know one thing about women though. Don't criticize the shit that they buy. She'll reward you with a hummer later. Maybe she'll even let you act out your favorite fantasy where you go to the grocery store and save $7.50 using coupons. Sounds like a sexy time!

Oh, and your kids want frivolous things? That's because they're kids, fucknut.

Instead of telling them that I don’t think they are being frugal, it would be better if I kept my mouth shut, stuck to my own frugal habits, and let them come to that conclusion on their own.

Or you could just do what most parents do- tell your kids to fuck off whenever they want you to buy them crap. Wait, don't literally tell them to fuck off. You get my drift?

However, if parents discuss finances with their children and explain that they live frugal because it makes them better stewards of their money and resources, and do it with a generally positive attitude, then kids will be more likely to adopt the behavior as their own.

Look, I'm all in favor of teaching teens about finance, because they're smart enough at that point to get it. But kids? Hell, when I was 8 I was playing fucking ninja turtles in the park. Anything financial taught to kids beyond the absolute basics is a waste of time. They're kids! Let them have some fun before shit like working and responsibility get in the way.

Now I realize that everyone has their own tolerance for living frugally, and that’s okay–we can all still be friends. Some people like to cut coupons, while others see it as a waste of time. Some people cut their own hair, and others visit high-end salons. Some people skimp on clothing, drive old cars and refuse to eat out, but take an annual cruise. None of these people are necessarily doing anything wrong.

You write a blog called Frugal Dad, and then talk about how it really doesn't matter how frugal people are? Doesn't that make your blog a giant waste of time?

Frugal Dad: You should be frugal.

Nelson: Hmm... no.

Frugal Dad: Shit!

Nelson: Uh, aren't you going to argue with me? Tell me the benefits about being more frugal?

Frugal Dad: Nope. That way I'm a frugal leader.

Nelson: ...kay?