First up, my humble apologies to the 1976 classic film "Network" for stealing their iconic line for my title. Yes, this proves I've got nothing on my own. But I just can't take it.
I fucking hate all those god damn frugal blogs out there. It's true. I hate every single one.
I know I've touched on this before, but just stay with me.
Formerly, my relationship with all those frugal blogs out there was kind of like my hatred of Jim Cramer- it existed, I was just too lazy to do anything about it. I was fine with that. Lately though, maybe because of the economy being the shits, it seems like these people are everywhere.
Now before we continue, I'm cheap. I'll admit it, and I have admitted it before. I turn down the heat to slightly below room temperature to save a few bucks a month. I wash in cold water. Hell, I can even see the logic in doing horseshit things like growing a garden or clipping coupons. I certainly can't be bothered, but whatever. Knock yourself out.
No, the problem I have with the pampas arrogance that accompanies their frugal ways. According to these douche bags, the only way to accumulate wealth is to budget your ass off, buy generic everything, (with coupons, dumbass!) only have the very basic cable T.V and cell phone plans, and avoid going to Starbucks. You definitely can't have any fun, and if you actually make a purchase, you better be able to justify the fuck out of it.
Holy shit, I can't even imagine the wrath if I admitted to them that I eat out all the time. I hope they don't know where I live.
Let me be crystal clear for this next point. All you frugaldouches, gather round and pull up a chair cause Uncle Nelson is going to let you in on a little secret. Are you ready, cause it's gonna be good...
As long as you manage to save 10% of your income, I don't give two shits what you do with the other 90% of it. You can blow it all on crack and strippers for all I care. Yeah, I've said it before. And I'll say it again. It really is that simple.
Besides, the return on investment on most frugal activities is the shits. Spend 2 hours a month sorting coupons to save $10? Congratulations, you worked for less than minimum wage. Spend 10 hours on your garden to save $100 in the cost of vegetables? You'd be just as well off going to work at McDonalds. I can go on, but you get the point.
I mentioned before about the blogger who wrote about dog food going up 6 bucks a month. This blogger actually spent enough time thinking about this to write a post about it. Let's crunch some numbers:
Blogger's income: $4000 per month (I'm just guessing, I have no idea)
Dog food increase: $6 per month
Amount of difference that makes: Absolutely none
How cheap is that blogger: Pretty god damn cheap
But wait! Turns out that they're not cheap. Right.... Remind me to shit on that post later.
What's the cost to have the fucking dog in the first place?
Most people suck at money management. And with the economy looking worse than Sean Avery's career, (topical!) people are starting to cut back. But offering tips on how to make cheap meals or telling people to cut back on their daily latte just isn't offering a realistic solution.
Sure, you guys have a small group of loyal followers. And they fucking loooovvvveee you guys. But you're preaching to the choir. Where are the realistic solutions for the common guy? And don't tell me that your blog is full of them, cause nobody's going to do it.
That's like trying to solve the tension in the Middle East with a sternly worded letter. Good fucking luck with that.
We get it, you're good at being cheap. Now maybe offer some advice that won't be taken just by your hardcore fans.
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